one year

One year ago at 6:13pm, Callie Taylor made her long awaited arrival and turned our little organized, in order lives upside down.  I have been reflecting a lot on the last year and how much she has completely changed our lives. For some reason or another, being a mama was never really my biggest dream.  I felt a little selfish for the job and honestly, I didn't really think I would be good at it.  Before I got pregnant, I was so happy living our little married life in Remus that I just did not see how it could get much better!  We did what we wanted, when we wanted and we had a lot of fun-just the two of us!  But, there was this little piece that we didn't even know we were missing.  Whenever I found out, a little surprisingly, that we were expecting, I can remember saying these exact words to my mama- "I feel like my life is over."   And she responded- "Your life is just beginning." 

Before Callie was born, I was quite literally a nervous wreck.  I did not love being pregnant, I really didn't appreciate the beauty of it all the way I might if we were to have a baby number two, and I never really felt a strong bond with her whenever she was in the womb.  I loved her because she was mine, but I wasn't just a puddle in the floor over her little self growing inside of me.  I was scared of the moment she was here and I was supposed to know what to do with her because I quite frankly had no idea.  And since I wasn't just so excited to meet her I could not stand it, I was scared that I wasn't going to fall in love with her the minute they handed her to me.  Forget fall in love- I was scared I wasn't even going to like her!  I knew that we could make it if I loved her, but what if I didn't?!  These were my actual thoughts. 

By some miracle, on January 8, 2018, I survived a very long day of labor that was probably worse than all of the scenarios I had played over in my head, but somehow didn't seem that bad in the moment....and I knew just what to do with Callie within hours of her arrival.  It honestly came so natural that I felt like I had been doing it forever.  Thank you Lord.  Within the first few days of having her, I didn't even recognize the person I had become.  Being a mama is a crazy, beautiful thing.  Whenever she was just a little bitty baby, I can remember telling Austin that it felt like she had been apart of us all along.  She's always been ours!  I will never get over the miracle that having Callie is to us.  There are days that Austin and I look at each and say- "isn't it crazy that we have a baby?  Like- there is a baby crawling around our house right now!"   I am not even kidding. 

If I have been away from Callie for any amount of time or sometimes if she's just been napping and she wakes up, being back with her is almost like meeting her for the first time all over again.  There is excitement, there is amazement, there is so much LOVE.  The bond that we share is unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life.  There are times I look into her eyes and I think I see her soul.  Whenever she's going to sleep on my pillow and I smile at her and she smiles back with her eyes closed and her little paci grin, I cannot even stand it.  I've been brought to tears by her sugars and love more times than I could count.  Being her mama is by far the most exhausting yet precious thing I have ever done.  She makes me a better version of myself. 

Having Callie opened a door to a world that has always been out there, but I had never known.  I'll never forget the first time I walked into Jewelry Just For Fun after I found out she was a girl or the day I discovered the baby section at Wal-Mart and its million different formulas or whenever I was added to the Facebook page- Smocking Hot Moms Without Entitlement. Who knew 10000s of mamas around the world resale their children's clothes on Facebook around the clock??!  Haha.  (#obsessed)  All of those things have always been there, but I never really noticed them until now... now that I'm a mama!

Being a mama is a scary thing because time isn't slowing down for us.  If the next seventeen years go by as fast as this one has, she will be flying the coop faster than we think. Whenever times get tough and I'm living off of frozen pizzas and terrible sleep, I just think to myself that it isn't always going to be this way.  She isn't always going to come crawling to the bath tub when she hears my bath water running or have a complete meltdown whenever I walk out of the room at her bedtime.  I won't always be picking sweet potatoes out of the rug or stepping on green beans she threw from her high chair into the kitchen floor.  She isn't always going to be this little or this dependent or this attached to her mama.  My goal in the next year is to try to enjoy the here and now and to be as present as possible because I don't want to miss a single minute.

So on her birthday, I hope this little firecracker always knows how very much she is loved. Not only by her mama and daddy but a host of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family and friends.  I pray God's hand over her because I know he is with her whenever I can't be. I pray that Austin and I will be the parents she needs us to be and that we are building a strong foundation for her little life. 

Happy Birthday, Callie Taylor!

We love you more than we knew was possible!

Callie's First Easter

Callie's Easter weekend was eventful to say the least.  I don't work on Fridays or Mondays now, but somehow we always stay busy anyway!  On Friday, Callie went with me to dance and stayed at Mama Mac's house while I taught a solo for recital.  After we left the studio, I dropped her off at Mammie's house for an hour or so while I went up the road to gather some tax information from a client at my office.  Whenever we got home, Austin helped me put together a scavenger hunt for the next day at church.  I had most of the stuff I needed around the house, but what I didn't have I knew I could find at my mama's house because she keeps all the things.  

Callie spent the night with Mama Mac Friday night to give me some rest!  I knew the weekend was going to be cray and I would probably need it!  After a restful night, I went back to the studio Saturday morning to work with some girls that were trying out for Centralettes at EC!  Callie came and watched us!  I was excited to get my hands on her!  We went home and got ready to go to the church easter egg hunt.  Mama Jim went with us and we had lots of fun with our church fam.  I have one picture to show for it.

We chilled out Saturday night and tried to relax before a full day on Sunday.  I could NOT sleep on Saturday night.  I knew I had to get up and iron clothes the next morning and I really needed to choreograph some solo routines for Monday at some point on Sunday.  I knew it would be impossible, and I think that's what was keeping me up.  Instead of laying in bed awake, I got up and ironed Callie's dress and Austin's pants for church.  I just thought ironing Austin's clothes was torturous.  I spent 30 minutes on  Callie's dress and it still didn't look that great.  Not to mention, it was realllly wrinkled after she sat in the car seat for a few minutes the next morning!  I ended up getting a whopping 3 hours of sleep on Saturday night.

Whenever I got Callie up on Sunday morning at the crack of dawn, she was looking at me like I was crazy.  She was good through church and did some napping.  We were unsuccessful at getting good pictures of Callie in her Easter dress before she spit up all over it!  I don't know how moms keep their kids clothes clean but maybe I'll one day figure it out.  After church, we sat around in the fellowship hall visiting and waiting on the men to cook breakfast!  

Before we left, we had a little Easter photo shoot in front of the church!

OH, and Blake and Callie had their first kiss.  Haha.  Callie doesn't look too thrilled about the situation!

At 2:00, we headed to my Mamaw Kea's for her Easter get together. but not before we stripped Callie down and caught her on camera smiling!  We attempted to nap, but Callie had other plans.  There really wasn't time anyway.

  Callie always seems to lose her bow whenever men are around.  I rarely put a bow on her without Austin making a comment about it cutting off the circulation to her brain.

I usually get a group picture with my camera at Mamaw's.  I bought a remote for my camera for our wedding photo booth and it has paid off a million times over!  Madilynn, Jennifer and Austin helped me get it set up! Love those girls!  And Austin too, I guess.

The whole sha-bang.  We are lucky to still have Mamaw Kea around!  She is one of a kind!  Whenever I think about Mama Jim's mom still being alive, it kind of blows my mind.  I hope I still have my mama whenever I'm 78!

Callie got some Mamaw Kea lovin.  I know I will hold these pictures tight one day!

We did lots of visiting and hid some Easter eggs for the kiddos.  Aunt Amy has her in this picture!  

And now Jake!  Whenever I looked out and saw Jake with Callie, my heart may have melted a little bit.  

Mama wanted to get another picture of our hands where you can see Mamaw's hand better!  Callie Taylor's sweet little hand is so precious to me!

I spent some time talking to the teenagers about their plans for the future and what they do on the weekends.  Oh to be sixteen again! 

After we left Mamaw Kea's house, we made our way to Mammie's for supper!

I got Jamie to take a family picture of us with Callie in her chicken suit!

We got a cousins picture against Joy's will!  Bless it.  You can't tell they weren't super happy about taking a picture!

We celebrated Poppa's birthday a few days early.  Callie was asleep and she woke up during the birthday song.  She was completely exhausted by this point!  We counted over 20 people who had held her that day!  She was wore out.  I debated cancelling my solo practices the next day because we were so tired.  I opted to go ahead and go through with it!  Callie was still snoozing on Monday at 11:00 whenever we left to go to the studio!  

Whenever we were finally finished with our to do list on Monday afternoon, I rocked Callie on the porch and we enjoyed having nothing to do.  She was still recovering from her weekend days later!

Our first holiday with our little love was a good one!  Everything is a little more fun with Callie around.  We love her so!

life lately

Callie Taylor has been on the go lately meeting all of mama and daddy's friends and doing all of the things we do!  She has been going with the flow and enjoying (I think) getting out as much as we have!  

Last Friday, my friend Sara and her boyfriend, Tim came to meet Callie all the way from Houston, TX! 

Sara was one of my three roommates whenever I lived in Orlando doing the Disney College Program.  We hit it off from the very beginning and I truly do not know what those three months would have been like without her!  Here are a few pictures of our everyday adventures in Orlando back in 2011.  Wow... long time ago!  

Here we are in the middle of a Scavenger hunt around the world at Epcot!

And this is one of the first days of our quest to find Hidden Mickey's!  We happened to be at the Grand Floridian in this picture.  (We unfortunately did not find all of the hidden mickeys on Disney's property but we did make major progress in the three months we had.) 

We have managed to see each other about once a year since then!  Sometimes more, sometimes less!  If you were at my wedding- she's the one who sang and everybody probably wondered where she came from.  Haha.  The last time I saw Sara was two years ago.  Austin and I went and stayed with Sara and went to the Houston Rodeo to see Brad Paisley.  That was our first little road trip after we got married. Anyway- I was so super excited to see her and get caught up on all the things going on in her life!  

We said our bittersweet "until next times" Saturday around lunch and Austin and I made our way to the church for a fundraiser for one of the youth.  It was the first time that a lot of our church friends had the chance to get their hands on Callie!  I only got this one picture of sweet Lila holding her!

After scoring some pecan cookies at the cake auction, we went to the Breedlove's for supper.  Baby Blake was there and he and Callie held a contest for loudest crying throughout eating supper.  J/K.  But Callie had gotten pretty fussy.  

On Sunday, Callie was good through church and whenever we got home, we took her 2 month pictures a few days late! 

She was really 2 months and 3 days.  (March 11th instead of March 8th)  Before I had Callie, I always wondered why moms posting their milestones pictures ALWAYSSSS say "a few days late but".... Well, now I know.  It is quite the hassle getting a decent picture of a baby, much less a baby that doesn't look like an orphan.  So after church was a good opportunity because we had made it through the service with no spit up and still looking half way put together.  #momwin

This little outfit was Joy's whenever she was a baby.  We have enjoyed all of the hand me downs!

We headed over to Mammie and Poppa's house Sunday afternoon to eat with the fam.  Callie wasn't too happy about getting in her car seat, but she decided it was okay! 

I happened to look up and see Baylor playing with Callie. 

I thought I was being sneaky taking pictures, but then he started smiling.  These kids know whats up.  They all gathered around Callie for a picture and I named it the easiest photo to organize, ever.

  It's usually a circus trying to get a picture!! Not everybody was looking, but so be it.  

Callie fell asleep next to her daddy whenever we got home and further proved that they are, in fact, twins. 

On Monday morning, Mama Jim rode with me and Callie to Union for Malorie to cut my hair!  I had intended on getting it cut before I had Callie because I knew it would probably be quite some time before I had another opportunity.  It had gotten so long and I do not have time to dry that much hair with a new baby before work every morning.

Callie ate while I got my hair cut.  Side note- Malorie got engaged this past weekend and we are SO EXCITED for her!!! On the way back through Philadelphia, we stopped by my office for the people I work with to see her for the first time!  

We went home for a little while and then made our way back to the studio for Morgan's solo practice.

  Callie looks so excited to be at dance!  #not  We went home after dance and got ready for my work week!  This weekend has been a little more laid back!  Austin was at home on Friday so I cleaned the house from top to botton and was still in my pajamas at 4:00 Friday afternoon!! #momlife

On Saturday, the weather was pretty and we went strolling and spent some time on the front porch.  But not before we took a few picture for Mammie!

Porch naps are the best naps!!

Saturday evening, my mom and dad came by for daddy to wash his truck at the shop by our house.  Mama volunteered to keep Callie for the night and let us get some sleep!  We dropped Callie off at mama's on our way to eat at the Rhinewalt's.  We stopped back by to give her goodnight kisses on our way home!!  It was a little difficult, but I could not pass up a good night's sleep!  And Callie slept from 11:00-6:00 for them!  Yay!!  Austin went to get her for church Sunday morning after I went to Sunday school.  I forgot to pick out her clothes before I left.  Fail.  He did decent though! #gooddaddy

Sunday after church, Callie went home with Mrs. Suzanne and I went in to work for a few hours and to get some groceries.  She woke up this morning around 6:00.  She went from 9:30pm-6:00am without eating!  She woke up a few times and wanted her paci, but I would call that a GOOD night!  We are well on our way to more sleep, praise the Lord.  

She has been napping most of the morning- long enough for me to write this anyway!  Side note- her daddy bought her this little outfit whenever we were expecting her!  I had to put a bow on her this morning to balance it out.  Haha.

Just before I finished publishing this, she had a blowout that required both of us changing clothes and started screaming for her bottle. #reallife

Until next time :)